A Five-Phase Map For Turning Life Disruption Into Transformation

When life falls apart, most people ask the same question: How do I get my old life back? But when divorce, a breakup, child custody stress, job loss, burnout, debt, grief, or anxiety changes your reality, going back may not even be possible. In this episode of The Next Baseline, Danny De Jesus shares a practical framework for life transition, personal growth, and transformational resilience that helps you move forward when the old baseline is gone.

Danny walks through the C2R2E Framework for transformation: Collapse, Confrontation, Realignment, Reclamation, and Elevation. He explains what collapse can reveal during major life disruption, why confrontation calls for honesty without impulsive decisions, and how realignment turns awareness into action through discipline, patience, and grit. From there, the episode moves into reclamation, where you begin taking back your voice, confidence, and personal agency, and elevation, where you stop chasing a life that no longer fits and start building a new standard.

This episode is especially relevant for anyone navigating divorce recovery, breakup recovery, co-parenting stress, child custody challenges, financial hardship, career transition, grief, burnout, or anxiety. Danny also speaks directly to listeners in a hard season and acknowledges the truth that transformation takes time and often hurts before it leads to growth. If you are in immediate danger or thinking about harming yourself or someone else, call or text 988 right now for immediate support.

The episode closes with five reflection questions to help you identify what has collapsed, what truth you need to confront, what needs to shift right now, what you need to reclaim, and how to begin building your next baseline.

Transcript

Welcome And The Core Problem

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Hey everyone, this is Danny De Jesus, your host of the next Baseline Podcast. And for those that are returning, I just want to say welcome back. And for those that are also new and tuning in to this podcast for the first time, I also want to say welcome. So for today's episode, I want to talk about something that sits underneath almost everything that I do. And what I specifically want to talk about is this idea of life transition into transformation. And so where this came from is the idea that a lot of people, or at least that I find and believe that a lot of people going through major change or disruption or life transition, they immediately find themselves asking this one question. How do I get back to my old life or the life that I previously had? And what I find is, and again, this is just my personal opinion, that is not always the right question. And the reality is this that sometimes the old version of life is simply gone, and we have to accept that. And I think that's that's very difficult. And when that old life is gone, also sometimes the old version of you, who you were during that life, is also gone as well. And when that happens, I think, and I've said this before in previous episodes, that the better question now becomes what do I build now moving forward?

The C2R2E Transformation Framework

SPEAKER_00 1:31

And so this is where my framework comes in, which I call C2R2E. And what C2R2E stands for, it stands for collapse, confrontation, realignment, reclamation, and elevation. And this framework did not come from me sitting in a room trying to sound smart. It actually came from my own personal lived experience. It came from my experience in divorce, in multiple breakups, financial hardship. When I say financial hardship, I'm talking about tens of thousands of dollars in debt due to legal fees, career transition, parenting, single parenting, co-parenting, and also the internal confusion that comes when you are trying to figure out where you even are in your own life. And that's the part that matters to me. Because I don't ever want this podcast to feel like I'm ever talking at you. Especially I want this episode to feel like I'm talking with you. I want all listeners to hear, to hear this and think that that this is where I am right now. Or that you know, that this is what you have been feeling, or maybe even that you finally have a language for what you are experiencing and what you're currently going through. In fact, when I made, created, and developed C2R2E, it was to give language to exactly what I was feeling in terms of the stages of life transition and transformation. Okay. And so with that, I want to say something, something up front here. And that is transformation is not easy. In fact, transformation is not meant to be easy. So I'm not here today to hand you some ritual, some shortcut, or some hype-filled formula that sounds good for maybe a few minutes, but it doesn't really help you when life gets really hard and really difficult. And here's a here's a bottom line truth. We are we we as human beings are always going to encounter hardship at some point in our lives, maybe multiple times. And here's the thing: I am not against hope. I am not against vision, I am not even against the idea that everything starts, you know, I'm not even against the idea of manifestation. But what I do believe is I do believe that everything starts with a thought. Everything starts and begins with imagination. Because when you look at everything around us, whether it's material things at home or when we go out into the world or we get into our cars, anything built by human by human hands was all started because somebody at first asked, What would it look like if? And I want to say that matters too. You know, I do you know, I I do not believe that you just think something and it happens, okay? Because there's a whole process for that. You know, I believe thought, the the act of thinking cognitively, I think that's just the beginning. You know, I also believe that imagination begins to open begins to open the door, and it is action what carries it forward, okay? So with that, you know, I want to highlight that discipline is going to matter, patience is going to matter, grit is going to matter, and doing what needs to be done on the days you don't even feel like doing it, on days you don't feel inspired, that also matters. Because that is how transformation, in my opinion, actually happens. So today I want to walk you through the five phases of C2R2E in a way that feels very human, practical, and real. And I know we talked about, if you go back in previous episodes, the first four episodes, I talk about C2R2E, but really we're gonna get down to the nitty-gritty here. Okay, so so just follow

Phase One Collapse Defined

SPEAKER_00 5:55

me. So with that, let's start with the first phase, and that is collapse. All right, now collapse is the moment when something in your life just simply stops working. Okay, there's more nuance to that, but in a nutshell, in from a definition standpoint, it simply means when something in your life stops working. It doesn't have to be negative, it doesn't, you know, it can just be what it is. Okay. In terms of collapse, maybe maybe it's a marriage. It could be a relationship breakup, or maybe the breakup of a friendship. It could be job loss, maybe it's even job change, roles changing. Okay. Maybe it is a custody situation for those single co-parents out there that is uh pulling your life apart. Maybe it's a financial wreckage, maybe it's a pending bankruptcy, maybe it's a burnout, okay? Maybe or maybe it's just that quiet moment where you finally realize the life you have been living is no longer sustainable. And here's the thing collapse oftentimes feel feels painful because it removes your old reference points that you that you've had. It can make you feel embarrassed, it can make you feel disorientated, it can make you feel like you should have had things figured out by now. And the older you get, that doesn't get any better. You know, but I also want to highlight is that collapse also reveals a few things. It reveals what was fragile, it reveals what was often ignored, it reveals what had been what had been carrying too much weight for too long. It also reveals where something was already breaking long before it finally came apart. It's just there comes a point where the pressure cooker builds too much pressure and it explodes. Okay. And if I look at my own personal life, I have experienced collapse multiple times in more than one form. For me, divorce, and I've had two divorces, by the way. Divorce was just one form, financial hardship was another. Career transition carried its own version of collapse as well. In fact, being an active duty military member, um, I have experienced multiple transitions within my career and multiple challenges. And so there was collapsible moments in my career that truly tested me. Okay. Um, and then also there were seasons where life simply just simply was just felt very difficult. It felt like the old map that I had or the old blueprint that I had just no longer was working as I as I would have hoped or would have liked. And that is really what collapse does. It tells you the truth before you are even emotionally ready to hear it. And then

Phase Two Confrontation And Truth

SPEAKER_00 9:13

that brings us to the second phase, which is confrontation. And this is where you stop running. This is where you stop waiting for life to become easy before you become honest with yourself. Okay. Confrontation is where the question changes instead of asking, why is this happening to me? And instead you start asking, What is this showing me? And that is the harder question. Because maybe your confrontation is showing you a pattern. Maybe it is showing you a blind spot that you didn't even know you had. Maybe it is showing that you have weak boundaries, or maybe that you're avoiding too much. It is showing your your what you fear. And then maybe it's also showing where you stayed far too long in the situation, tolerated too much, or kept hoping things would change without actually facing what was actually true and real. Now let me slow down for a second. Um, I want to pause for a moment because I want to be clear about something I just said. So if you heard me say stay too long, I want to be clear about what I mean by that. Because here's the thing: I am not endorsing people blowing up their romantic relationships just because they are tired, bored, or frustrated. And so I don't want you taking staying too long to mean you're staying too long in your relationship that you're tired, bored, or frustrated over. Because that is not what I mean, and that is not what I teach. So, before what I want to highlight here, before ending ending anything significant or important, I'm gonna ask you to go through the entire framework first. Okay. I want you to slow down, I want you to get honest with yourself, and I want you to work through what is actually happening. Because sometimes confrontation is not telling you to leave. Sometimes what confrontation is actually telling you and communicating to you is that maybe you need to take accountability, maybe you need to articulate things better or communicate better, maybe it is time to identify patterns, or finally address what has been avoided for a long time. And so that distinction that I just highlighted matters, okay? Confrontation is also not impulsive, it is just very honest. In fact, confrontation, if you do it right, it is brutally honest to the point that it hurts. Okay, it hurts in a different way from what collapse uh typically hurts. And I'm gonna be honest with you. Even now, I still have moments where I have to stop and ask myself, where am I really? Am I being clear? Am I avoiding something? Am I protecting something? Am I protecting my comfort? Am I too comfortable in the story that I'm living instead of dealing with what is actually true and real? Okay. And that that is that is a process, and it's not a one-day process either. It's it's a multi-day lifelong process. And here's the thing transformation is not about becoming someone who never struggles again. Okay, we're human beings, we're going to struggle not just once, not just twice, but multiple times. So with that, you know, transformation is about becoming someone who is more honest when struggle actually shows up. And so that's that's um that's confrontation there.

Phase Three Realignment Through Action

SPEAKER_00 13:03

So with that, let's move to phase three, the third phase, which is realignment. So what is realignment? Realignment is where your life starts changing direction. You have seen the truth, you have faced the truth, and now you have to actually respond to it. Okay. So you go from collapse, seeing the truth, confront confrontation, facing the truth, and now realignment where you actually have a response for that truth, for that reality. Realignment is where your choices start to shift. And this is where your priorities may change, your standards, your boundaries, the way you use your time may also change. And then also the way you relate to work, your relationships, your the way you parent, your energy, and and how you carry out responsibility, that may change as well. And so this phase is usually it shouldn't be dramatic, um, because it is often what I found is realignment is often a very quiet process. I would argue collapse is louder than realignment. So realignment is a lot of internal, internal work here because it is a series of choices made with more awareness than you ever had before. And so this is a stage where it requires us to have a lot of awareness here. And I'm gonna, and I'll be honest here, realignment, if it's not uncomfortable, you didn't do it right. I I think because realignment is going to ask you to stop living as if your old life is still your current life or your current reality. And so for me, you know, an example of a realignment, for example, show you know, it showed up in a very real way when I first started building um what is now what you you can see and you can experience that I call the the digital ecosystem that's under Elevatis coaching. And I want to be clear about what I mean by that. I'm talking about the website, the content, the platform, the message, and even this podcast, the next baseline. All of this is an extension of what Elevatis is. You know, everything that I do from the website to my to the blogs, to to the videos, to the social media postings, to this podcast, it all comes and stems from the same, the same mission, the same, the same lived experiences, and then also the same desire to help people move to disruption in a more honest and grounded way. I just communicated different differently across multiple platforms. And here's the thing, this did not happen overnight. Because what where this started was over with started with a simple question. And it started with, what would it look like if I shared my message? What would it look like if I put my thoughts on paper and shared them with the world? What would it look like if I built something that could actually help people through through disruption? And you know, the this this question is meaningful to me. Um, you know, because as I see, as I see this through the lens of realignment, you know, these are the things I had to I had to do. I had to learn tools, I had to build, I had to have discipline, I had to make mistakes, I had to keep going when it was not polished, I had to figure things out through trial and error, I had to learn from other people, I had to keep moving, moving forward without waiting for any perfect moment. And so that to me is a real life version of realignment. Is I had to align, you know, for for me, I had to align my actions and my intention with what I wanted. And so a lot of that, if we want a certain life, if we want a certain outcome, we have to realign our our actions with the intentions that we have. Because here's the thing thought is going to matter, imagination matters, but thought without action changes nothing. Now,

Phase Four Reclamation Of Agency

SPEAKER_00 17:35

let's move to phase four here, and that's reclamation. Okay, now this is where you start taking back parts of yourself, what I like to call personal agency. That is, that could be your your voice, your confidence, your judgment, your peace, your discipline, your self-respect, your ability to believe there's something ahead just for you. Because disruption does not just hurt. Sometimes it disconnects you from yourself, it can bury you under survival mode, it can make your whole life feel reactive, it can make you feel like what happened to you now defines you for the rest of your life. But here's the thing: reclamation pushes pushes back against that whole narrative. And it's not pretending nothing ever happened. It is not fake and toxic positivity, and this is not performative. Reclamation is the process of saying there's still something here to recover. There's still value, there's still capacity, there's still identity beyond the disruption, and there is still a future beyond this season that I'm living right now. And at some point, you have to stop seeing yourself only through what you lost and start seeing yourself through what you are now rebuilding. Rebuilding forward. And that is what reclamation is.

Phase Five Elevation And New Standards

SPEAKER_00 19:07

It is the chance and the opportunity to reclaim your sense of self and your personal, your personal agency and start rebuilding forward, which is going to lead us now into the fifth phase of C2R2E, which is elevation. And here's what I'm going to tell you: elevation is not perfect. It is not meant to be perfect. In fact, it is not even the final destination where nothing hurts anymore. It is not a fan a fantasy ending. It's not a happy ever after. Instead, elevation is when you have created a new operating standard for yourself and it becomes real. You're going to think differently, you're going to move differently, you're going to make different choices, you're going to recover faster, you're going to have greater awareness, you're going to tolerate less of what is going to break you, and you're going to become more intentional with what you allow into your life or who you allow into your life. Elevation is not about going back to a life you no longer have. It is about becoming someone wiser because of what you have lived through. And that is what this podcast, this is why this podcast is called the next baseline. Because for a lot of people, the old baseline is gone. It is gone forever. The old identity goes with it. The old assumptions and the old life is gone. And yes, that can feel scary because change is always scary. But it can also be the beginning of something more honest, more grounded, and more aligned than what came before it. And here's here's the hard truth, the difficult truth about transformation that I want to give you before I end this pod this today's episode. So before I leave you, I want to do what I always try to do in my content, and that is leave you with something to reflect on. I never want to just talk at you and move on. I want to leave you with something you can actually sit with, something you can think about after this episode's over. But before before I do that, I would be remit I would be remiss if I did not take a moment to actually talk about some hard truths here. You know, transformation sounds good when people say the word, but living it is very different. A lot of people like the idea of change. Potentially, change is hard. But they do like a lot of people, we we a lot of us talk about the idea of growth. We like the idea of becoming stronger, but here's the thing the truth, but here's the truth transformation does not always feel good for a large part of the process. And that is significant because a lot of people think that something is wrong if growth falls. Feels painful. But if you even look at this work, look at the framework, look at it carefully. Collapse, confrontation, realignment, reclamation, and elevation. Let's look at the first three steps, the first three phases, collapse, confrontation, and realignment. They're not intended to feel good. In fact, if we want, you can go back to the earlier parts of this podcast episode, re-listen to it, and it the first three phases, collapse, confrontation, realignment, they don't sound super amazing. And that is three of the five phases. Collapse hurts because life feels like it's breaking. Confrontation hurts because truth is uncomfortable. Realignment hurts because change asks something from you. And that does not mean the process is failing you. It actually means that the process is real and it's working as intended. And here's the thing: transformation takes time. It's going to hurt at times. It's going to stretch you at times. It's going to test your patience at times. It tests, it's going to test your discipline at times. And it will ask more from you than motivation alone can ever do. Not just motivation, but also inspiration. And that is why I don't talk about this topic of transformation very lightly.

Hard Seasons, Hope, And 988

SPEAKER_00 23:39

And so what I want, what I want to talk, what I want to talk about, even more specifically, I want to give a word for the person that's going through a heart season right now. And I know there's so many people out there that are hurting. And so before I leave you with a reflection that I promise, I want to speak directly to the person listening right now. Or if you know somebody who can benefit from that, share this with them. And so there are a lot of people in a very hard place. And maybe you're going through going through or experiencing a divorce. Maybe a significant relationship for you just ended. Maybe you're knee deep in a child custody situation. Maybe you lost your job. Maybe you're dealing with financial wreckage on the brink, even on the brink of bankruptcy. Maybe there's something even more deeper and more grave, like the loss of someone of a close, close loved one, family member, friend. Maybe your anxiety is is is super high. Maybe you feel like you're being choked from the inside. Maybe you feel hopeless. Maybe you feel like you cannot go on another moment. And these are super, super sensitive topics. I want you to know that. I know that. And I also know what it feels like when your anxiety is so high, your depression is out of control, when life feels so heavy and when hope feels so far away. I know what it feels like when the pain feels bigger than your ability to carry it. So I want to be clear about this. I am not a therapist. And I am not equipped to handle any type of mental health in a clinical way. But what I do and can offer is this framework I call C2R2E for transformation and even a step further, transformational resilience. I can offer you language for the disruption and for the transitions that you're facing. I can offer perspective, and I can offer you the hope that one day you can reach a period of evolution elevation. That does not mean it happens quickly, and it does not mean it happens very cleanly. It does not mean that it's going to happen without pain. And the truth is it's going to take time and it will hurt. Sometimes it's going to hurt like hell at times. But the painful parts are not going to be the whole story. Because collapse is not the end. Confrontation is not the end. And realignment is definitely not the end. There is still reclamation, and there's definitely still elevation. There's still the possibility of taking parts of yourself back. There is still the possibility of becoming someone steadier, clearer, and more grounded than ever because of what you walk through. So if you're in one of those hard seasons of life, please stick with me. I may not offer therapy, but I can offer you the framework that could help make sense of the disruption and the points and points towards what is possible, what can come next. Now, with that, if you are in any immediate danger or thinking about harming yourself or someone else, please get help. Hall or text 988 right now for immediate support.

Five Reflection Questions To Journal

SPEAKER_00 27:43

So with that, I would like to leave you with this exercise, this reflective exercise that I always try to leave across all of my content for people to reflect on. So I have a few questions here, so that I want you to take a few minutes after this episode and sit with five questions that I'm going to pose to you. Write them down if you need to. Say them out loud if that helps. But I would like for you to be honest, most importantly, with yourself. So the first question I want to throw out is this What in my life has collapsed or is no longer working the way it used to? Question number two. What would realignment look like for me right now? Not for the next year, not forever, but just right now. Question four. What part of myself do I need to reclaim in this season? Is it my voice, my confidence, my peace, my discipline, my direction? And last but not least, question five. If I stop trying to get my old life back, what would it look like to build my next baseline instead? And that is the exercise. So as I said, take some time. Do not rush the process. Do not try to sound impressive because at the end of the day, you're you're not impressing anybody. This is for you. And just tell the truth. Have a conversation with you because that is where transformation is going to start. It starts right here, it starts right now. So

Join RISE Community And Closing

SPEAKER_00 29:49

with that, if you found that this message resonated with you, I want to invite you to join our Rise community. The link for that will be in the description. And what RISE stands for, it is resilience, insight, strategy, and elevation. And it is an extension of Elevatus, where we offer community for people who are truly serious about growth, reflection, and moving forward with greater intention. So if you're in a season of life, of life transition or disruption, and you're trying to make sense of what comes next, I want to say I built RISE specifically just for you, because RISE was built with that, with that kind of person in mind. Those that are serious about transition, transformation, and they're going through seasons of life that the community can help, can help them uh bring them through that that period of time, that that season of life. So, what I want to say with that is you don't have to have everything figured out first. The only thing that you need and is required is that you just need to have a willingness, a willingness, an open mind, and an open heart to begin. So, with that, this is Danny DeHesus, your host of the next baseline. Thank you so much for spending some time with me today. So, until next time, on another episode.