Your Life’s Check Engine Light Is On

Something can feel off without being “broken” and that’s exactly why it’s easy to ignore. When the same frustration keeps returning, when the same tension shows up in your mind and body, it might not be a disaster at all. It might be a signal. I unpack what I call the collapse phase of the C2R2E framework (collapse, confrontation, realignment, reclamation, elevation) and explain why collapse is best understood as information, not a command to blow up your life.

We talk about the biggest trap people fall into in life transitions: confusing the signal with the solution. Discomfort often triggers knee-jerk moves like quitting a job, ending a relationship, or starting over in a new place. Instead, I invite you to treat collapse like a check engine light. It doesn’t tell you exactly what’s wrong. It tells you something needs attention, followed by investigation, discernment, and honest reflection.

You’ll hear practical examples from career growth and relationships, including how burnout, poor boundaries, boredom, lack of purpose, misaligned expectations, and unresolved conflict can all create the same “something isn’t right” feeling while requiring very different next steps. I also dig into how we distract ourselves to avoid sitting with the discomfort, and why awareness is not weakness, it’s the start of real growth. I close with four questions you can use to spot recurring friction and slow down before you rush into an answer.

If this helps you name what you’ve been feeling, subscribe, share this with a friend who’s in a transition, and leave a review so more people can find The Next Baseline.

Transcript

When Something Feels Off

SPEAKER_01 0:02

Have you ever had the feeling that something just isn't working anymore? And I don't I don't mean that it it is necessarily broken, but it's not necessarily a disaster either. It just feels off. And maybe you found yourself at some point in your life saying things like, there has to be more than this, or something feels different. Or I don't know what's wrong, but I know something isn't right. Or maybe you notice the same frustration frustration showing up over and over and over again. It's the same tension, it's the same feeling, and it's the same conversation that you've had in your head. And no matter how much you have tried to ignore it, it keeps coming back. And if you experience that, I want to suggest something. You what you may be experiencing is in fact a signal of some sort. And so that's what we're going to talk about in today's episode.

The Next Baseline And Transitions

SPEAKER_01 1:06

So with that, welcome back to another episode of the next baseline. I'm your podcast host, Danny DeHeses. And this podcast is where we always explore the one question: what do we build now to reach our next baseline? And so over the last few episodes, we've had the opportunity to talk about transitions. And what we've talked about, you know, at the beginning of this season, in the last several episodes, one of the concepts that we've talked about was the difference between an event happening and then followed by the transition that takes place, being the event is what happens at a specific date and time. And then the transition of the process takes much longer than what the event than what than when the event took place. We've also talked about the idea that life transitions also tend to follow a pattern that we are more than likely familiar with, and it's recognizable. And in the last episode, we also introduced the five phases of C2R2E, which is again collapse, confrontation, realignment, reclamation, and elevation. And

Redefining What “Collapse” Means

SPEAKER_01 2:20

so for today's episode, we're going to take a deep dive in the first phase of the C2R2E framework. And that's going to be collapse. So before we go any further, you know, I feel the need that I need to clear up what I think is one of the biggest misunderstandings that I think people have about this phase before we go any deeper. Because when people hear the word collapse, I feel like or I sense that we tend to catastrophize what that means. Like as if everything is falling apart, we're losing everything, hitting rock bottom, it's a crisis. And while collapse can look like those things, that's not only what I'm talking about. In fact, some of the most important, meaningful, pivotal collapses, they happen really quickly. And they also happen quietly. It's not dramatic, it's not necessarily public, it's not necessarily life-altering catastrophe. I mean, although although it can be. But what collapse is, is it's simply this. It's a growing awareness that something isn't working the way that it used to. Simply put, it's really information. And that's important because collapse to me is not this crazy huge problem. Again, it's just information.

SPEAKER_00 3:48

It's the signal. Collapse is again, it's information.

SPEAKER_01 3:55

It's nothing more, nothing less. And I think that's where a lot of personal development conversations, I think, tend to go sideways because people, when people feel discomfort and no one likes to feel discomfort, people tend to immediately want to jump, jump to action. It's almost like a knee-jerk reaction. Something's going on going wrong with your job, just quit. Quit your job. Something is going on wrong with your relationship or your marriage. Easy. End the relationship. File for divorce. Don't like the city you're in. Okay, cool. Move somewhere else. Start over. Here's the thing: I'm not saying to go blow everything up. Because that's not wisdom. That's reaction. And that's not what I'm suggesting. Because recognizing that something isn't working is very different from knowing what to do about it. So there's a difference between acknowledging and recognizing, hey, we're we're rearing off track. Something is not is not functioning properly, then I'm going to take some action that alters the trajectory of my life. So I want you to think about collapse from a different perspective.

The Check Engine Light Analogy

SPEAKER_01 5:11

And I'm going to use an analogy here from a car perspective. So think about the warning light in your car. Really, you know, look think about your check, your check engine light, for example, your warning, your warning light. So when that light comes on, it's not going to tell you exactly what's wrong. It's going to tell you that something needs your attention. That's it. Nothing more and nothing less. What that light is, is information. But your response is going what's going to require investigation. And again, when you see your check engine light, a lot of us are going to take the car to the dealership or to the auto body shop or the auto mechanic because something's wrong. Okay. It requires us to further investigate. It's also going to require discernment, understanding. And in the same way that the check engine light comes on, I think the same can be said for how we view collapse. Because collapse works very much the same way or in a similar way. It's the moment that life starts to tell you, hey, pay attention. Something isn't working, something's out of alignment, something requires further investigation and examination. However, it doesn't mean that action needs to be taken right now. What it requires is just attention. And here's what I think this is where I think people get themselves in trouble. They confuse the signal with the solution.

Don’t Confuse Signal With Solution

SPEAKER_01 6:46

They assume that because they feel friction and uncomfort, that they already know what needs to happen. And that's and here's the thing, that's not always true. So let's say someone feels stuck in their career. The signal might be real, it may be very real. Something isn't working. But the answer is not to automatically quit your job because we all have responsibilities. We all have bills to pay. However, the issue that might require further investigation is asking questions like: is this because of burnout? Do we feel like we're not growing? Do we feel like we lack purpose? Maybe there's poor boundaries. You know, we live in a generation that talks a lot about work-life balance. And maybe it's those boundaries that need to be in place about not answering texts at nine o'clock at night. So it all depends. Perhaps is boredom, the need for new challenges. Or maybe, you know, it can it can be this. Perhaps it's really time for a career change. But notice all the different questions that we get to before it's time for a career change or job change. Because the point I want to make is that collapse is again, it's signal, it's information. And it doesn't automatically ask or require an answer.

Relationship Tension And Wise Interpretation

SPEAKER_01 8:11

And the same thing could be can be said about relationships. Here's the thing: you get into a relationship, a romantic relationship, a marriage, it's only a matter of time unless you're some odd anomaly, where most people are going to experience some sort of tension. They're going to experience some sort of frustration. Over time, as a as a relationship continues, there might be some disconnection here and there, every now and again. And we can't immediately assume that the relationship itself is a problem. Maybe it is, but maybe it isn't. Maybe there's some challenges or blockages within communication, or maybe it's a misalignment of expectations. Maybe it's unresolved conflict that has been there for quite some time that has never been fully flushed out or come to a close and has been fully resolved. Maybe it's personal growth that hasn't happened yet between one or both parties. And again, it's a signal, it's information. But the interpretation in terms of what step that one has to take or a couple has to take is going to require wisdom. And that's why collapse isn't necessarily about making decisions right there and then. It's about raising your awareness. So for me, that's one of the most important ideas in this entire methodology of C2R2E, collapse, collapse, confrontation, realignment, reclamation, elevation.

Awareness Before Meaningful Change

SPEAKER_01 9:36

Okay, because you know, in collapse, awareness is always going to come before meaningful change. You can't address something or an event in your life that you refuse to acknowledge. And you are not going to be able to solve everything at once. And you're not going to be able to solve anything that you refuse to take a further look into. Something that you refuse to examine and you walk away from hoping that it will disappear. That's not how life works. Also, you can't build a new baseline while pretending the current one is working. And at some point, you have to tell yourself the truth. Not somebody else's truth, but your truth. But you have to be very, very honest with yourself, very objective with yourself. And the honest, and the honest recognition that's, you know, that something in your life is going to require attention.

How We Numb The Message

SPEAKER_01 10:35

Now, here's the interesting part. Most people, I think, spend a tremendous amount of energy trying to silence and debon that signal. They stay busy, we distract ourselves, we continue to stay entertained. And it's very easy to do this with all the content out there that we can consume. Um, just, you know, all the games, all the things, you know, drinking, alcohol, the gym, you know, I mean, some of these things are are healthy outlets, but again, they're still there still distractions nonetheless. You know, we find ways of remaining occupied. Anything to avoid sitting with the discomfort. But what if, okay, what if in that discomfort there's a message in there for you? Life is trying to tell you something. Your life is trying to tell you something. And what if the frustration itself isn't necessarily your enemy? And what is what if, and again, what if it's just simply life giving you information? What if it's pointing you toward an area of growth, an area to look at to change, an area that needs examination, because the purpose of collapse is not destruction, but rather the overall purpose and the meaning behind collapse is awareness. It's the moment you begin to notice that the old baseline of your life is not producing the life that you're looking for, the results that you're you're wanting to cultivate, or the fulfillment that your life once produced. And I think that's valuable information, which I think naturally leads to a secondary question.

What To Do Next And Confrontation

SPEAKER_01 12:15

If collapse is simply a signal, then what are we supposed to do with it? And the answer is it's this is this easy? Not much. At least not yet. And not immediately either. Because before we can decide or should decide what needs to change, we first need to understand what's actually happening. And that's that's harder than I think most people tend to realize because understanding is going to require honesty. It's going to require confronting reality. It requires separating facts from assumptions. And that's exactly where the next phase following collapse begins. And that's the phase that I call confrontation, that we will be going further into in a in a different episode, in subsequent episodes in the series.

Four Reflection Questions

SPEAKER_01 13:10

So before we close, I'd like you to reflect on a few questions for me. Okay. I got four questions. Starting with the first one.

SPEAKER_00 13:20

Where in your life are you experiencing recurring friction? Question two. Question three. What are you repeatedly explaining away?

SPEAKER_01 13:43

And last but not least, fourth question here. Are you rushing toward an answer before you fully understood what the actual problem is? So here's the thing. Take some time with those questions. If you need to, you can pause this or at the conclusion of this episode, you can go back and then you can listen to the questions again. Take some time, take about 10, 15 minutes. Stay in the quiet, in that quiet place and see what cognitively, what what your brain comes up with and see how you feel. Because here's the thing: awareness is not a weakness. In fact, being aware, and the more aware you can be, it's a strength, in my opinion. And also, awareness is where growth actually begins.

Key Takeaways And Closing

SPEAKER_01 14:25

So if there's one thing I want you to remember from today's episode, it's going to be this, as a summary. The phase of collapse in C2R2E is a signal for change. It's not a prescription for change. I'm not telling you you have to change anything right here, right now. And it's not a demand or a command for change. It is simply a signal. It is simply information. And what that change ultimately is going to look like is going to require wisdom, discernment, reflection, and understanding. So notice there's a lot of sub-processes that are going to take place. And that is also exactly what we're going to talk about next. Because once we have recognized what the signal is, the information that we're receiving, we're going to be faced with a new challenge. Can we honestly confront what the information is trying to tell us? And that's the phase again of confrontation. That is where we're going to be facing the reality of our situation without losing ourselves. So with that, I'm Danny De Jesus, and this has been the next baseline. The links to the entire Elevates ecosystem and what we have to offer is going to be in the description of this podcast. So be sure to check those out. And so until next time, I would like for you to keep asking the question what do we build now to reach our next baseline? So, with that, I wish you all the peace, love, joy, and happiness in the world. And I can't wait to connect with you again on another episode.